Friday, March 2, 2018
Unemployed, Over Fifty, and Sharing How Trauma Affects A Person...
So, if you have followed my articles at all, you will see I have had to deal with some bullies in my life. I want to tell you how the other part of me, the personal, at home me has had all of this trauma, drama bull)(*^ affect my life. As a former victim of sexual molestation at a very young age, 4-6 years old, which caused me to go in to what they term a Reverse T3 hypothyroidism, it has to do with the fight or flight phenomenon, which caused me to pack on weight. Seriously, I was skinny until I was 7 years of age. Then I packed on the weight and it refused to come off. I then was called names in school for being FAT! This continued on along with the side effects of an untreated hypothyroid issue. I ended up having gallbladder issues and had to have my gallbladder taken out when I was 17 years of age. This surgery had complications. I wound up with an incisional wound which infected which required the doctor to go back in and clean up the wound and leave it open for a period of almost nine months. God bless my mother. She would daily clean that wound out, at first twice a day, and then later on as it healed, once a day. I had to go in once a week and have the scab scrubbed off with what looked like and most certainly felt like 'sandpaper'. The surgeon would then burn the inside edges with silver nitrate to facilitate healing. It was not a fun process and it most certainly was not pain-free. This was how I spent my 18th year of life.
I have had people comment on my weight so many times. I wish people could understand that not all obesity comes from overeating. I was training in TKD for tournaments some at state level with the participants going on to Olympic trials. I never got below 200 lbs. I did, however, have a size 34-36 waist. I low-carbed for years which added to my hypothyroidism issues. All I ever manged to lose on a low-carb diet was 10-20 lbs. No matter how many times I tried, I could never lose more than 20 lbs. I have been called names my whole life, add this to the workplace bullying. I guess my body finally said it had enough. It added to this boiling pot a condition known Multiple Chemical Sensitivity. On top of allergies that I had such as hay-fever or sinus issues, I started reacting to those wonderful anti-bacterial sprays, wipes, etc., etc.
My coworker at work loved those things. She would spray right before I got to work and within 15 minutes of me arriving at work feeling fine, I would get a headache. The reaction was feeling like someone had buried a hatchet in my forehead, blurry vision, foggy brain syndrome, general disorientation, sometimes an almost alcoholic 'drunk' type feeling, dizzy, wheezing, and nausea. Even after seeing me go in to an asthma attack when the manager sprayed the aerosol spray, she would still do this; although, she was asked not to spray it so heavily.
Part of the reason I wanted to get in to medical coding was to work remotely at home so I would not have to deal with the triggers of this wonderful new condition I found myself dealing with at this point in my life. This was also an issue at the workplace where I started to train for a very short six weeks. The bathroom air freshener was automatic. It would spray every time someone went in to the bathroom. Guess how many times that was a day? Go ahead, guess? Lots! There also was a coworker who slathered on hand lotion that smelled...UGH!! I can't even begin to tell you how smelly the hand lotion was; the aroma was as if I had stuck my face in to the tube of lotion she was applying. Instant nausea, instant headache on top of the headache from the bathroom air freshener, and all the other above-mentioned symptoms. This along with the bullying trauma and even though you asked and management supposedly talked with coworkers about people having allergies, it was generally the "I don't give a damn about you!" attitude that also contributed to my I do not want to return to healthcare as my career.
I was so hurt over all of this. People can say 'get over it'; it happens everywhere, but really? Where have we lost our compassion for things people have no control over?Like I purposely went out and chose to have a chemical reaction to disinfectants... Really? ??
I have had people comment on my weight so many times. I wish people could understand that not all obesity comes from overeating. I was training in TKD for tournaments some at state level with the participants going on to Olympic trials. I never got below 200 lbs. I did, however, have a size 34-36 waist. I low-carbed for years which added to my hypothyroidism issues. All I ever manged to lose on a low-carb diet was 10-20 lbs. No matter how many times I tried, I could never lose more than 20 lbs. I have been called names my whole life, add this to the workplace bullying. I guess my body finally said it had enough. It added to this boiling pot a condition known Multiple Chemical Sensitivity. On top of allergies that I had such as hay-fever or sinus issues, I started reacting to those wonderful anti-bacterial sprays, wipes, etc., etc.
My coworker at work loved those things. She would spray right before I got to work and within 15 minutes of me arriving at work feeling fine, I would get a headache. The reaction was feeling like someone had buried a hatchet in my forehead, blurry vision, foggy brain syndrome, general disorientation, sometimes an almost alcoholic 'drunk' type feeling, dizzy, wheezing, and nausea. Even after seeing me go in to an asthma attack when the manager sprayed the aerosol spray, she would still do this; although, she was asked not to spray it so heavily.
Part of the reason I wanted to get in to medical coding was to work remotely at home so I would not have to deal with the triggers of this wonderful new condition I found myself dealing with at this point in my life. This was also an issue at the workplace where I started to train for a very short six weeks. The bathroom air freshener was automatic. It would spray every time someone went in to the bathroom. Guess how many times that was a day? Go ahead, guess? Lots! There also was a coworker who slathered on hand lotion that smelled...UGH!! I can't even begin to tell you how smelly the hand lotion was; the aroma was as if I had stuck my face in to the tube of lotion she was applying. Instant nausea, instant headache on top of the headache from the bathroom air freshener, and all the other above-mentioned symptoms. This along with the bullying trauma and even though you asked and management supposedly talked with coworkers about people having allergies, it was generally the "I don't give a damn about you!" attitude that also contributed to my I do not want to return to healthcare as my career.
I was so hurt over all of this. People can say 'get over it'; it happens everywhere, but really? Where have we lost our compassion for things people have no control over?Like I purposely went out and chose to have a chemical reaction to disinfectants... Really? ??
Thursday, March 1, 2018
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