The Muddy Waters of Narcissim

 Are you like me, lately?  Can't tell right from left...can't trust yourself, can't trust your significant other, or in fact, you cannot absolutely trust anyone?  How did I get here?  Are you showing signs of wanting to control others for your own security/peace of mind?  If you find yourself in this mindset, it stands to reason that you may be a victim of narcissistic trauma.  

In the South, we know when the waters are muddy, 'don't go fishin'...You cannot tell the depth of the riverbank.  You cannot tell if there are unknown dangers (water moccasins or gators)  in the water.  And so it is with narcissism.  There are some good resources coming out and the trauma of narcissism is becoming more common in being talked about.  But, the victims of narcissists are being quieted, their stories not heard or they're not listened much less believed and often are targeted as being narcissistic themselves.  

I'm no professional with a degree behind my name, I just have life experience as a victim - a victim of sexual molestation at age 4 continuing through age 6, a victim of bullying - I gained weight to, I think, counter the effects of the molestation; however, there is a flight or fight reflex to the human body that can cause a hypothyroidism disorder and the victim gets locked in to a vicious cycle of not getting enough thyroid hormone.  It is called Reverse T3 and the standard AMA response is - "There's nothing wrong with you.  It's all in your head."  And as such, I endured a lot of name calling for being overweight since I was 7 years old.  

Now, as a victim, I did not learn coping skills.  I would encounter situations and find myself in the what I call a 'deer in the headlight' mode.  I could not think of what to do.  I would go in to panic, not so much that someone else could see it, and a lot of the time, that is still how I react.  Oh to be that person who has found their voice and can say what they want to say.  You are blessed if you can do that for yourself.  So, I asked Jesus for help.  I trust His Word, I trust Him.  I'm learning to trust others like my husband who has put up with me for 30+ years.  Even he has come under the magnifying glass of 'friend or foe.'  Having been a victim himself of some pretty ugly issues of life and surviving, we became what they call codependents.  His control of me has been totally, "I love her and no one is going to hurt the ones I love."  My control issues became "Someone did something really mean and ugly to me and I am not going to ever allow anyone to do that to me again."  And at this point it gets really ugly with finger pointing, name calling, and drama, drama, drama, trauma, trauma, trauma.  And guess who the winner is?  Yep, if you guessed Satan, you guessed right because the last thing he wants is for you to figure out a way to stop the control and manipulation.  

This is one reason why I believe it is so important for Christians to stand up for what they believe.  The church has gone on the retreat and it has not made the world a better place.  Although, as we approach the season of easter again, Moloch worship, yes, you heard me right, Moloch worship, the church is losing the war or so the enemy would have you believe.  But trust me, Jesus says He wins.  Let me give you some sound advice "Never, ever, ever side against God and His Word."  You will lose every single time.  

As a victim of some who exhibit very much the narcissistic traits that cause massive trauma to families and have caused trauma myself due to the effects of trauma let me say to you, if you really care and you really want to help someone with these traits of control - sometimes, they are not a narcissist.  Sometimes, they are the victim.  The answer to the problem is still Jesus.  He is the only one who can change someone on the inside.  I would warn you though that if you are dealing with a victim and you try to use the tactics you would use on a true narcissist, you will cause more trauma to someone who has already been hurt beyond what you think you know.  If, however, the person is a true narcissist, you're not going to have an effect.  This really starts falling in to the demonic arena.  The only way you can deal with demons is to cast out demons.  

Do you know what the standard advice is for someone in a relationship with a narcissist?  Leave them.  But Thank You Jesus, God's ways are not the world's ways and thank you, Jesus, that the world's ways are not God's way.  God never casts us out not even the narcissist.  God will withdraw at a point when a person goes on committing a sin that God has pointed out to that person.  And at this point, I realize this may have to become Part 1 and Part 2, et cetera, etc. ...

Muddy waters, swirling and churning, muddy waters, takes your breath away, muddy waters, paralyzing fear, muddy waters, oh who will hear?  My Bible tells me the accuser is Satan.  Who is accusing?  Deep down in side, the narcissist was a victim at one point.  They are just doing what someone did to them.  They reached the point of "No one is ever going to do that to me again."  A deep, raw, bleeding wound that only the touch of the Master's Hand heals.  The only balm is the balm of Gilead.  Muddy waters, swirling and churning, muddy waters, takes your breath away, muddy waters stilled by the Words of Jesus, suddenly you see and hear, the true narcissist who needs to be released from the bondage of trauma and the victim, who is shouting louder and louder because everyone is too busy with their own issues to care, or see, or hear.  

Sometimes, all the victim wants is to be validated.  They want someone to listen, to say, "Yes, that's really  _____________ (fill in the blank) and then the victim can heal and mend.  But when the victim is told to be quiet, sit down, don't make waves, just get over it, etc., etc, you can cause the trauma to be deeper because that negates the feelings of what happened to that person or what that person was going through was really awful and yet somehow, that person/victim does not matter.  The victim is thinking why does Billie Joe matter and everyone listens to them, seems to respect them, but I don't matter?  Everyone should matter.  We have to start addressing the splits and cracks in the church.  Judgement begins in the house of the Lord.  He is going to clean us up first.  

The world applies labels - Narcissist, ADHD, ADD, and the church has given over to the world.  We stopped praying, we stopped casting out, we stopped preaching the gospel.  We stopped adhering to the principles of the Bible that God laid out for us.  'Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God.' "Faith is the evidence of things not seen, the substance of things hoped for."  Never give up hope.  

We need discernment.  We need the power gifts of prophecy.  We need for the truth-speakers to be bold and speak up any way; to call a spade a spade and stop playing nicely so as to not offend.  When we will address sin, no matter what form it comes in, we will find change happening  The trickle down effect is very apparent in every area of life these days.  Corruption, drama, trauma, abuse, illicit activities, no shame in these things either.  Used to what was done in secret and dark, was not openly displayed.  There was shame if someone found out and so it should be now.  But this is no longer the case and we pay a great price for it.  

The professionals will tell you though, if you are dealing with a narcissist to be aware you are dealing with a truly bad person which is why they advise leaving, immediately.  If we develop the mindset that we are all sinners.  There is no good in any one of us, we are back to what the Bible says and that is - There is only one good and His Name is Jesus Christ.  We all require an acceptable sacrifice of Jesus' blood because He is the only perfect one.  So if you are dealing with a demon, remember I said narcissism starts falling in to the arena of the demonic, and a demon is evil, you may have to leave for safety.  However, in God's way there is hope.  The world's way, not so much hope.   

So the thoughts I want to leave you with are 1.  Are you dealing with a true narcissist or a victim?  2.  Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.  Control and manipulation are not of the Lord.  To tell a victim from the predator what is the reason behind the control - Are they controlling for their own peace of mind or do they try to control to avoid making someone else mad?  So in a marriage, there is a healthy/respectful part of letting your spouse know what you are doing or asking if they are okay with you participating or doing something.  Again, the Bible says when a man and woman are joined together they become one flesh.  They are no longer two.  What you are doing should be good for your spouse and vice versa.  However, if you find this lopsided - one spouse is always asking permission, the  other spouse never asks permission, well...this might be a sign of control and manipulation.  The rules apply to the one spouse, but none of the rules apply to the other person in this marriage.  It becomes very much a parent/child relationship which is not a good thing.  

I used marriage here - but the complexity of relationships that can find a narcissistic type of control/manipulation strategy can fit a lot of interactions between people.  I personally have experienced this in my own family growing up, in my marriage, in my relationship with my children, with employers, and even with friends.  When I find myself in the presence of someone and I start becoming overwhelmed, I tend to fight this trait of control/manipulation.  It is a major red flag.  Danger, Danger Will Robinson, Danger!!!  Run when again I have to retrain myself to say "What does scripture say?"  Scripture says - Recognize the demonic.  Resist the enemy.  We do not run from the enemy.  We don't seek him out, but we also do not run.  We resist.  We do not give in to the enemy.  We stand.  We war with the weapons of our warfare those being the pulling down of strongholds, vain imaginations, patch up the holes in our armor by building our faith.  How does faith come?  By hearing the Word of God.  Sometimes, we fail.  But we never give up because to give up is to let the enemy win.  And we pray.  Through prayer comes answers and not only do we get the answer, we are obedient to obey what God tells us because what good is praying, getting an answer, and then ....nothing...yea, don't think God is to happy when we do that.  

I apologize for any rambling here.  It seems my thoughts are very disjointed and I just want to delete and start over.  But again, as with a lot of issues that are just basically human nature sin issues are difficult and complex and no easy answer except Jesus.  Jesus is the answer!  

Real Vs. Fake

REAL NOT FAKE!!!

Wow!  What a crazy roller coaster ride the world has become lately....

It's on my heart - Real Vs. Fake, Lord Jesus, please help me!  I need discernment.  And boy, has He ever answered that one.  The world has become one big battlefield of control and manipulation.  You do This!!! Demand! Demand! Demand!  IF YOU DON'T DO THIS!  DEMAND! DEMAND! DEMAND!  

I also cannot tell you how much spiritual attack my wonderful husband and I have come under for just simply trying to obey Jesus.   Thank God, I married a Christian man who has extended grace to me more times than I ever deserve.  

Remember as Christians, our center to ground is God's Word.  As Christians, we are to believe God's Word more than what we are seeing or feeling or hearing, or sensing...Things may appear to be one way when really they are something else.  

I have a physical deficiency, and yes, I am trusting the Lord for my healing, but in this process and it is deeply embarrassing to have to admit that I, at times, have hallucinations.  This 'disease' has caused my world to turn upside down.  Along with the hallucinations comes pain, different kinds of pain.  Cramping pain, burning pain, continuous chronic aching pain, sharp-shooty jabby pain, cattle prod being poked in my back pain, along with the sudden inability, after moving around just fine, cannot walk pain, muscle stiffness and joint pain.  And this too, can happen to you.  I pray it doesn't.  But this is a bunny trail and back to task - Real Vs. Fake...

In these hallucinations, the enemy had convinced me that my husband was trying to kill me and that his family was out to get me also; and, my husband was convinced I was out to get him.  There were physical manifestations such as black spots suddenly appearing in the carpet, messes left in the bathroom.  This happened even after a person visited  my house and I thought, "Boy, these people are after me and my husband's got them convinced too."  Yes, this happened and 'No, I'm not crazy!"  This is exactly how the demonic works and if you don't believe me, just ask anyone who has worked in deliverance ministries.  The only way to combat the enemy with other people is by talking to that person, reading and speaking scripture, and prayer to God and then being obedient to do what He says to do in that situation.  If you are doing what God wants you to do, you are going to get attacked.  We have to know how to defend ourselves against the enemy and a lot of churches are not teaching their people how to operate in spiritual warfare.  To them, it's a game and these things cannot happen.  But I am telling you the truth today, because these things did and are happening.  All I can say to you is that if someone is telling you how they 'feel' believe them because it is very real to them.  You are not going to get through by mocking them or putting them down, etc.  If you are gaslighting and being narcissistic, eventually you will lose it all:  that person you are trying to control and dominate is one day going to stand against your wrongdoing.  Everything you are trying so hard to keep is going to get ripped right out of your hands.  This is why I equate narcissism with the human sin nature because when you get to root of it, it's sin.  In this process, the Lord was teaching me how to war also against the spirit of Control and Manipulation, the spirit known as Jezebel.  

Now, if you will remember, some time ago I blogged on this topic - and I asked the Lord why certain things kept happening to me.  This was before I had the triggering of this chronic physical ailment I deal with now.  He led me to the book by Steve Sampson "Confronting the Jezebel Spirit, How to Defeat the Spirit of Control and Manipulation."  I also was led to the book "Boundaries, How to Say No and Take Control of Your life" by Drs. Townsend and Clark.  I found both books to be helpful.  However, I will say that Boundaries is so easily perverted by the enemy.  He will take it and make you go overboard in saying no which in itself becomes a form of  'control and manipulation.'  This must be avoided at all cost.  Jesus does not want us running around telling others what to do and how to do it...it is His job to clean someone up, not you.  And you cannot be the Holy Spirit for another person.  However, you can stop participating in their sin.  And again, this is a process that only you and the Lord can work out by you reading His Word, praying, and obeying Jesus by doing what He tells you to do.  He will never tell you to go against His Word.  And I'm sorry, but I just do not see it that you cut someone off if they do you wrong.  I haven't quite figured out what the correct response is, but I know Jesus says to show them kindness, compassion, understanding, patience... and with this let me preface by saying - if the person is abusing you, doing harmful things, then yes, you have to do what you need to do to protect yourself and your family.  But if it is just because you have different viewpoints, then no; you do not just get to cut them off.  This all gets really muddy as most of these issues carry a lot of hurt, injury, and downright meanness that can cause even more trauma and injury.  Best left to the experts right, except that sometimes, the experts are telling you to do things that God says in His Word not to do.  But again, for now, this is another bunny trail.  So back to the topic - Geez, I wonder why I'm having such a hard time staying on topic today - Real vs. Fake!  

This world has become so good at making fake look real.  I mean, you cannot even tell some cuts of meat, trimmings, from a real Prime Rib.  You don't believe me?  Well, pick your favorite search engine and go research something called - meat glue.  I tell you, it just about turned me in to a vegetarian.  Technology is wonderful if used correctly.  It is absolutely horrible when it is used to deceive and trick.  And this, my friend, is exactly how the enemy works.  He uses a half-truth to trick you and then introduces the deception.  More than ever if you are a Christian, you need to be reading God's Word so you will know what it says and proceed from there because you do not ever want to side against God's Word.  

As evil grows, in these last days, I also find it is easier to see some of the fake.  But evil is getting really good at hiding fake, so again, Warning, Danger Will Robinson, Danger!  Warning! Warning!  Never stop asking the Lord for discernment...Make sure you compare that newer version of God Word, The Holy Bible, against some of the older versions like the King James to be sure parts of scripture are not being removed.  Oh, you did not know they were doing that?  Well, yes they are.    Discernment, Never Leave Home Without It!  And if you do not know, ask your Bible reading Christian friend/s...

Real

Real

Fake!

God Always Had A Plan!!!

 Are you looking around, like me, and saying "What in the world has happened?"  'I just want life to go back to normal.' - Yeah, don't we all...But here is the truth - Life can never go back to normal.  It can never go back to oppression and dominion.  Hmmmm, Dominion - Now, there's a word we've been hearing a lot lately.  The spirit behind it, control and domination.  You do know who the spirit of control and domination is, right? ?? Don't you?  Control and domination equals Jezebel.  Who ride the beast?  A woman.  Now you are seeing exactly how the Bible plays in to all of these shenanigans and who are under the influence of that particular spirit of Jezebel. The Bible is not just a book of nice stories.  The Holy Bible is really a living, alive book that is still very relevant in today's events, across all the world.  Jesus Christ stated that He came to set the captive free.  Free from what?  Everything.  Sin, oppression, tyrants, dictators, any form of control and somebody lording it over someone else, but most of all He came because He loves you and wants to have a personal relationship with you.  He wants to be a part of your life, to have you come to Him, ask Him your questions.  He wants to be your best friend.  

You see, Friend, there are only two side:  Good vs. Evil.  There is only one path to Good and that is the path of Jesus Christ.  All the others fall on the side of evil and as much as you say, "That's unfair!"  That is the truth.  Where there is control and domination there is witchcraft.  That's right, repeat that - Where there is control and domination, there is witchcraft.  Witches are not good whether they are white witches or black witches.  The Bible specifically states that God hates the Nicolaitans.  Now there is not much that tells us who or what the Nicolaitans are except one key phrase.  We find this in  Revelations 2:6

 6But this thou hast, that thou hatest the deeds of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate. 7He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the tree of life, which is in the midst of the paradise of God.

and again in  Revelations 3:15

15So hast thou also them that hold the doctrine of the Nicolaitans, which thing I hate. 16Repent; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth.

Here is an excellent article on the Doctrine of Nicolaitans Deeds and Doctrine of Nicolaitans

I am so thankful for people who have done the hard work.  

So to my simple mind, this is those who would lord it over other people.  But I found even more today even as I am writing this and it is the fact, preachers who would set aside Christ and put themselves in authority instead of allowing the Holy Spirit to have the leading in their fellowships.  I have found lately there are a whole lot of people who have done exactly this following false gods like Moloch, Baal, Asheroth, Osiris...and there is a reason why people should study out their Bibles like the Berean.  Find out if those conspiracy theories are true - if there is one ounce of truth it needs to be heeded and looked in to so that others may not 'lord' it over another human.  Remember, the sacrifice of children have been going on for thousands of years and as long as one child is still being sacrificed on the altar of evil, we need for life to not go back to normal.    

Word of Faith...

 

There's that phrase...Word of Faith!  Some one always pops up and the response from me is usually, "You don't know what you are talking about!"  Oh now, "Debbie, be kind."  Be kind?  You just accused someone without really knowing all the ins and outs...and here we are at this discussion.  

I really do not like to have this discussion because there are others that explain it so well and so plainly that I'm like, if you cannot see it from their work, you certainly aren't going to get it from me.  I am just not as eloquent or as knowledgeable.  Ha!  Knowledgeable...yea, there's a misnomer for me.  If God had to send me to explain this - Word of Faith - to you:  You, my friend, are in serious trouble.  But here I go and I will tell you my story.  Let's change that word (story) to experience.  I will tell you my life experience.  Story somehow infers that it is just that...something you would read in a book, might be true - might not be true.  Faith is true.  

Romans 10:17(KJV)

“So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.”

I was fortunate to attend for a brief time in my life a church that taught "Word of Faith."  They were great and awesome at Bible teaching and still are.  If you are ever in Lakeland, FL, I highly suggest to you that if you want to attend a church that really seeks to let the Lord have the service then you need to go to this church - Believer's Fellowship.  There are others too, but my life experience involves them.  I cannot speak as to the others only to what I know.  

At one point in my life, I found myself searching for more.  I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior at six years of age.  I grew up and at the age of 17 found myself flat on my back down for the count.  For the next year of my life, I would spend it recovering from a major surgery that went bad and it took over a year for the wound from that surgery to heal.  During this time was when I started questioning why was I here on planet Earth.  I knew Jesus, but I did not know Jesus and Jesus did not know me.  As a Christian, I believe I was saved when I asked Jesus in my heart but Jesus kind of expects us to do a little more than just go to church on Sunday, pray, read our Bibles and that's knowing Jesus.  No, that is not knowing Jesus.  Knowing Jesus means spending time in His Word, researching, finding out if the Bible is true or not, but most of all, personal relationship.  Spending time talking with Him.  The Lord, the creator of the Universe, and listening and more than listening, obeying Him.  How can we know it is Him?  It will never go against His Word.  So, my little surgery fiasco sent me on a path of exploring to find a deeper relationship with the Lord.  

As most people do, I tried things and went places on this journey of life, and all I can say is God protected me from my stupidity.  I went with a friend to a bar, yea, shock, a bar.  GASP!!!  Not just a bar but a strip bar because well, never mind...but needless to say, I was there because those people looked like they were having fun.  Not understanding personality types and characteristic traits because I was too young and had no teaching in those areas, I went along with a friend.  I wanted to have fun.  I wanted to be like those people who seemed carefree except, older and wiser now, I see just how carefree they are not.  But I could not even have 'fun' there...I would sit there and watch, still the same me; still quiet, boring me, not laughing, certainly not having fun, and it was just loud and noisy and smoky and NO! I was not having a good time!  But the worst part, the worst part was sitting there and hearing Jesus very quietly say in to my ear "You know, you're really not supposed to be here."  And I'd sit and watch my friend have a good time, but I was the wallflower.  I was the one who got overlooked.  And I was not having fun and Thank God, He was protecting me.  But I still heard His voice "You know, you really do not belong here..."  and shame.

So, it did not take me long in this phase of life to get past this and really, it was not my cup of tea.  I had seen personally the ravages drugs and alcohol can do in peoples' lives and I just really did not want it.  As stated above, I could have chosen that path. Thank God I did not.  I went back to church, but sitting there, I was like - there has got to be more than this.  And that sent me exploring for more and I started attending other denominations.  I also started taking Tae Kwon Do and I found myself with a divine appointment.  

My instructors in TKD were Christians.  It was through them that I started attending BF.  I attended other churches but it either scared me or it was just the same, that feeling that there had to be more out there.  Where was this resurrection power the Bible talked about?  The Holy Spirit moving through people...Before I came to Believer's Fellowship though, I went with a friend, a different friend, to a service where they taught the subject of the Holy Spirit and speaking in tongues and then they prayed for you to receive the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.  I had prayer and I did as instructed by them; and not really knowing what to expect, I just told the Lord that I really did not understand all of this.  But if He thought it was good for me I would like to have it and if it was not something good for me or that I needed, then I was okay with that too.  I went home, not having received the evidence of the indwelling, and went to sleep.  I woke myself up at midnight, sitting up in bed and speaking in tongues.  

Well now, this is a predicament because they don't speak in tongues in the church that I attended.  In fact, it was kind of looked down upon.  It was then I decided to try the church my TKD instructor had told me about and the minute I walked in that building, you could feel the presence of the Lord.  I know, we don't live by feelings.  But there was a lifeforce, energy, almost like when you feel static electricity in the air and I knew there was something different.  The people had a driving force, alive energy, not the usual - let's hurry up and get this done with so we can go home and eat or snooze or whatever, kind of like the walking dead.  There's no faking it.  It's either there or not there.  And while we do not necessarily look for that experience and say they have it and others don't, that's not true because we do not live by our feelings, but that church - that church was/is different and the reason why is because they were obedient to follow how the Holy Spirit was leading.  It makes all the difference in the world when you have a pastor who will follow the leading of the Holy Spirit.  Sometimes, Pastor Wayne (now retired) would say, "We're just going to worship the Lord.  The Holy Spirit is moving through the music, we're just going to go with it." ; or he would say, "we're going to pray.  Let's just stay in this prayerful state."  And we did.  Other times, it would be "right in to the Word" and he would preach/teach.  It was always about obedience though and we were blessed because when you are obedient to obey the Lord, Jesus will bless your socks off.  

Pastor Wayne has a book "One Chance in a Thousand" and I encourage you to buy it and read his autobiography of how God got ahold of him and changed his life.  Pastor Wayne studied Reverend Kenneth E. Hagin, Senior's teachings.  Now if you know anything about Word of Faith, you will know that Reverend Hagin is considered to be the father of the Word of Faith movement.  People kind of diss him too saying he was wrong.  His teachings were wrong.  As Pastor Wayne always says, "take time to find out if the Bible is true."  So, not to doubt Pastor Wayne, but also not really knowing how to answer people when they would make statements about Reverend Hagin, I decided for myself to do one of Reverend Hagin's studies and find out if he twisted scripture.  I am happy to report he did not and if you will take time to read the Bible, study out what is being said, you will find out too that Word of Faith is true.  I recommend you start off with "The Believer's Authority" which will quickly teach you who you are in Christ and why you can be confident that God will supply what you need and then some.  Why you too can be confident in the promises that God gives you in His Word, the Holy Bible.  

I sincerely hope you will take time out to read God's Word, read it out loud to yourself so your self can hear it.  Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God.  After which you will find your self saying to those circumstances in your life, "be gone, in the name of Jesus."  " Peace be still to the storm."  You will also know when the enemy is trying to deceive you with falsehood because you have studied God's Word so you will know when someone twist scripture.  And let me just make the final statement that "Word of Faith" is not just about prosperity.  There is a 'prosperity' message that is in doctrinal error.  People term it "Word of Faith" which is absolutely wrong to do so because "Word of Faith' is totally about, to quote Pastor Wayne Friedt again, "believing what our Bible says more than what we can see, touch, taste, hear or feel."  In other words, we're going to believe our Bible no matter what.  The Bible is true.  The Word of God is everlasting.  It never returns void.  It affects change.  Speak scripture over your life.  See if God is not who He says He is.  Never is there a better time to start than right now.        

 

My God Shall Supply ALL My Needs… 

 

When I look around and see the chaos, I hear the Lord saying “Peace be still...” It is so easy to get caught up in this world’s plan. God is telling me, “Hey Debbie, I’ve got a better plan than you’ve ever imagined.” I want to stand and say, when it is looking dark to you friend, please know that God has a better plan. I had a really hard day the other day. Really hard and instead of taking my thoughts captive, as I know I should do; I started dwelling on them. I ended up in the pit of despair. After a full day, and I am not a person normally prone to crying but I cried. I cried and I cried and I cried. And no, I did not feel better. It felt hopeless. It felt lonely. It felt like no one cared. But then, a God thing happened. A friend texted and reminded me of God and His plan. Ha! Ha! It seems God has a better plan...Never give up and never give in! Taking back what the enemy has stolen!

I'm A ...(Fill in the Blank)

It's so easy as a human to fall in to the world's ideas and theology rather than as a Christian to fall in to God's ideas and theology.  Let me start right off the bat by saying in order to know God's ways, you have to read His Word, The Holy Bible.

All of this stems from the fact that as humans, we tend to want to categorize and organize ourselves in to boxes.  God is all about being outside of the boxes.  A pastor friend, Wayne Friedt, would say, "Do you know what a rut is? A rut is a coffin with the ends knocked out of it."  Meaning, if you are doing the same thing over and over, it really is just kind of dead, but someone forgot to tell it, it's dead.  Are you dead?  No, as a Christian, I am spiritually alive in Christ Jesus.  As a Christian, I identify as a worshipper.  Really in truth, we Believers' in Christ are all worshippers.  Rightfully so, but there are callings, giftings, and anointings and all the time the world is yelling...YELLING "You've got to have (____________)." (fill in the blank.)  

So, I was watching America's Got Talent 'coz I was tired of all the bad news, latest political stuff, and as much as I hate to turn on regular TV  now waiting for all that pi azz za  g a te  stuff to come out, I thought, as the world tells us, 'let's watch others so we can learn and improve ourselves.'  As I was watching and listening to the critiques, called judges, who are well-intentioned in their comments because yes, if you are going to be a performer/entertainer, you gotta have charisma.  "Hmmmmmmm, how can I work on my charisma?" I asked myself...

Myself responded with record yourself in videos so you can see and learn what to improve and what to change.  I video taped myself...yes, I video taped myself and how humiliating!  Because if I am going to be completely honest with myself, I am never going to have the world's kind of charisma that was being spoken of by the judges.  Yea, you see, I'm just not one of those happy, smiley people when I sing and play the piano.  Try as I might, I just am not a smiley person.  It's fake.  It's not me.  I smile, but I am just not one of those 'smiley' people.  You know the kind right?  Yea, you know what I mean...fake!  FAKE!!!

So I almost bought in to the world's lie, "You gotta have ______________."  For me, it was charisma.  A good friend reminded me that's the world's ways when we spoke about this event where I had played and led worship for a small gathering.  I am always told "You are anointed."  But for some reason, it is hard for me to believe it.  Now don't get me wrong.  I want to play well and do well.  I do want to do the very best I can do and on that day hear the Lord say to me "Well done, thou good and faithful servant."  But I was reminded that as Christians, God has different goals and standards than the world's...and again, I ask myself how is it that I so easily fell for the enemy's lies once again.

So I work on skillsets and my capability of playing my instrument well.  I work on knowing the song and make sure it is in my range of vocal capabilities, but I am not working on charisma because I am who I am and I do not need to act or fake it because you either are or ARE NOT anointed by the Holy Ghost and no amount of acting is going to get the results of authentic worship except the presence of the Holy Spirit using you as a vessel.  If you are about yourself and being inauthentic then God is going to say "Go ahead, but I'm having no part of it!"  I humbly admit I need God more than ever to work in and through me when someone asks me to do _____________ for God.  You can't buy Him or sell Him.  You can't produce Him.  All you can do is say, "Here I am Lord, obedient and willing, ready to do what you would have me to do."  That is all you can do, friend, and it is all you should do...For the most part, God does and will work through a willing vessel.  Sometimes it is easier and sometimes, it is harder.  For praise and worship services, I find it to be a battleground knowing we have to fight the fight of faith and the enemy does not want anyone entering in to praise and worship with God.  

I am going to leave you with this thought...Another friend and I were discussing this topic of praise and worship which has become such a battlefield in the church arena.  I had always read and knew the importance of praise and worship as a tool in spiritual warfare.  It seems that some really do not know the importance of the praise and worship service.  

In 1 Chronicles 20:20-22, we see where God directs Jehosaphat to send the 'singers' out to battle first.  I always viewed this as 'let's get out there and kick the devil's butt.'  And there is that aspect....but what my friend noticed and pointed out is that scripture says that as we began to sing and praise God then He sets the ambushes that will ensnare the enemy.  He only starts to move as we begin to ....yep ....sing and praise Him.  If you need some overcoming in your life, start to sing and praise God.  Most of all, don't fall for the lie of the enemy that you need what the world has to give.  


Blessings to you

Debbie AKA "The Black Sheep of the Flock"  I'm constantly in trouble....

 

Beautiful Site! God's Promise To Never Flood the Earth Again!!!

 The light attracted my eye...I grabbed my camera and started shooting the pictures.  I was frustrated because I could not capture the 'feeling' of going back in time as that was how it felt.  Like an old timey photo. 

 Out of the corner of my eye, I caught the faintest hit of a rainbow.  I decided to go outside to try and see if the color I was aiming for showed up better.  As I opened the front door of my house, I see the most brillant colors lighting up the sky.  

 No one paints better than God!