Looking for the Good While Not Compromising My Integrity... 

So, this morning I purposed to get up and choose to look at things and situations as they came up with a more positive focus.  You know, find the lemonade in the lemon type of uh, uh, thing...yea that!  

After receiving a text from my sibling-in-law that my other sibling-in-law who is not speaking to me currently wondered if I had called my parent-in-law, yes, the ridiculousness of it all and this is my life...  Now, this just happened yesterday.  I really did not ponder or worry or fret or any of those things over it.  I just texted back to my one sibling-in-law that - no, I had not.  And, I let my spouse know because it's important for them to know what the family is up to...WAIT!  What are they up to??? That's kind of bizarre, but being that the wind was blowing 90 to nothing and the power looked as if it was going to go out, well, there ya' go...my mind was on other things.  You know, like self-care because if power went out and there was nothing to cook and could I even get it cooked before the power went out as it was sure to do at this point.  Yea, you know, those hits that just keep coming at you rapidly and people wonder why you REACT!  So fast-forward to today, TA DAH!!!

I woke and said, "Self, we's gonna try to do better.  We'll focus on the positive.  We will not let this get us down before we have even gotten up."  After all, it was 5 a.m. and  YEAH, the power is back on!!!  We will count our blessings, yes, we will!  So I quickly washed up the few dishes I had to leave last night and made coffee.  Yummm...Coffee.  I am blessed!  I also let spouse know I was still alive and kicking, and I came to my desk and started sorting through things as I had stacked papers on top the laptop and had to get to the laptop to turn it back on after turning it off last night due to the 'windstorm.'  

As I was going through the stack of articles, recipes, health statistics, etc., cures for my woes, I ran across a review of a product that I had copied and saved for when I needed a laugh.  Look for the positive remember!  My mind started whirling, thoughts churning and  Shazam!  Here is a totally negative experience that somebody took, told the truth of the matter, and yet brought laughter to I do not know how many people by now.  The history lives on if you look it up.  If you are wondering what I am talking about go to Amazon and look up sugar-free gummy bears and read the product reviews.  Here, here is the link to one product but if you take time, you'll find different brands and all those fake sugar reactions.  I laughed and laughed...Guilty...but now you know why we are calling for truth in labeling.  Oh yes, let's look for the positive.  I have my own horror story to tell about an Atkins Chocolate Bar, intense abdominal pain, cramping, and passing out.  Thankfully, I did not have an accident in my pants by passing out, and was able to make it to the restroom.  But after that event, I care very much about food product labeling.  Hmmm, I wonder if what made my spouse have diarrhea on a flight was because he ate a red gummy bear???  Go ahead and have a laugh, we do now but at the time, it was not fun but is it the truth?  Yes! 100 Percent the truth.  No, I'm not going back to sue anyone.  But dang it, I want to know the truth and they just keep finding ways to lie.  

Then, I ran across another story I had saved.  It brought some healing and coping skills that I desperately needed when I ran across it and I find it still relevant today in light of the in-law situation.  It is by Toni Baldwin-Buss and it basically says how everyone loads Mom down with their problems.  It showed Mom responding in a calm manner providing answers and solutions.  It goes through a variety of scenarios and this mother does not lose her calm.  It gets to the end and basically says, Mom has learned how to let others be responsible for their own choices and actions.  If you're an adult, you are an adult.  Act as such.  Mom is not here to rescue you anymore.  The ones who were used to using Mom were speechless at Mom's response.  But after Mom stopped the enabling, the family began to function better.  Why? what happened?  Everyone in the family learned what it is that they need to do.  For those of us that care too much, we wound up being the responsible one for others.  It is time that those others learn to be responsible for themselves.  

Yes, I have found the positive.  I'm not compromising my integrity for your lack of being able to deal with reality.  I am moving on in peace.  I have forgiven.  I am not angry, bitter, or unforgiving.  I am just done.  

Now just so you are aware, I'm not directing this blogpost at any particular person or family member.  I'm just trying to let you know where I am at in my walk.  I choose to live life hereafter in the "Happy Boat."  I am inviting you to get in to the Happy Boat with me.  However, be aware I have standards.  I do not lie, cheat or steal and I do not control or manipulate to get my way.  If you do those things, save us both some time because I'm not going to be that kind of person EVER!!!  Just go on and leave me alone.  This is where I'm at and I'm in the Happy Boat!

Being in the Happy Boat is more of a mind set.  It's the I'm choosing to be happy rather than miserable.  I don't understand why you do what you do, to person causing offense and then blames the other, but I do not have to go with you or be there with you.  Yes, this is exactly where I am and it is a better place.  It is a positive place.  It is a forgiving place.  It is the real place and I can stand before Jesus and say, "Lord, I tried to live as you told me in your Word, the Holy Bible."  I accept the things I do need to change in myself such as 'stop looking for the fight.'  My reaction since I have been challenged on so many fronts of life.  Will I get there?  I hope so.  I also hope I get to bring everyone along with me on this ride, but unfortunately, I cannot make them.  It is up to them.  I am only responsible for me, my choices, and how I respond.  As my nephew, Greg, would have said, " Peace and Chicken Grease!"  There's not much better in this world than love, peace, and some kind of fried chicken...Most importantly, there is Jesus.