the minions of Hell ply on the thoughts...burn hotter, more, more, more...Jesus says, "Peace be still."
In the midst of the fire, in the midst of the attack, in the midst _____________(yep, the usual fill in the blank...). One more stuffing it down. Not saying anything. Not doing anything. And BOOM, the volcano goes off!!! The extreme point of being able to 'suck it up' and 'forgive' has been met. No more! No More!! NO MORE!!! The insult - what's wrong with her? The talks and the lies rather than listening, consoling, showing love and compassion.
The regrets, the endless questioning of 'why did you let that affect you so?' The acceptance that yes, you are accountable for your part. But, BUT also acknowledgement that maybe you are being trained to help so others do not have to go through what you went through. The last thing I want as a Christian is to hurt someone else the way I have been hurt. Maybe, although it is a hard thing for me to accept, but just maybe I do have a little more experience and a little more knowledge than you. Real life experiences of pain, betrayal, broken promises, yea, like everyone else - I got the T-shirt with holes in it.
Choices - Forgive. As a Christian, it's really not a choice. It's an act of obedience. Christ says, "if we do not forgive, our Father in Heaven cannot forgive us." Ummmm, yea, I'll take all the forgiveness I can give. So that requires me to forgive. I am receiving some help in understanding why I am not responding in the usual way of forgive and move on. I am moving on, but as I am moving on I desire better. Better for myself and better for all I come in contact with....better for strangers I do not know on Facebook or Blogger, or where ever God directs my path.
So God has, at various times in my life, used movies to bring home a point. With that said, I found myself watching a great movie the other day. A movie of someone who took the really bad thing in their life and used it to help others to understand the whys' and hows' of what they deal with in their life daily. The movie I'm referring to is, "Front of the Class." I cannot say that my physical ailments come anywhere close to what this young man deals with. Did I learn something from someone younger than I am? Yes, I did! The point is - He set an excellent example of taking something really bad and using it to teach others so they would not punish some person for something that is totally out of their control. Geez, that sounds like something that we could totally use right now, doesn't it? Maybe all the cut throat managerial styles can start working on reversing the damage caused by the last, more than a few years of dog eat dog philosophy and start teaching the listen to understand philosophy and that you do not have to destroy others to succeed in your endeavors. Everybody wins. Yea!!!
How do you teach that when you help others, it does not make you weaker? But let's be clear about real help rather than enabling. There are times where you do need to stop enabling. But there again, you are going to help that person rather than hurt if it is true enabling. Are we all doing the best we can do? Are we holding something against someone? Are we really running that race to the best of our ability?
So I guess I exhibit a certain behavior that comes off as anger to others. I have been accused of 'unforgiveness' and yada yada yada...I see, after someone listened to me and responded how I might have been trained to respond as 'looking for a fight.' Let me assure you, the last thing I want to do is fight you. However, when God is telling me to speak, "I'm gonna speak." Why? I fear God more than I fear you. I also desire to please Him and Jesus requires obedience if you are following Him. I have also found my peace. I have found the example of 'teach others' so they can understand better and not hurt someone else. I hope that the ears that need to hear will hear and eyes that need to see will see. You never help someone by one upping them or getting something over on them. Make sure you are not adding to the trauma that has already been done to them. I have no desire to make someone pay or exact revenge. That is not my place. I will leave that to God because God says that revenge is His. He will take care of it and as in ALL THINGS, I find God is faithful to His Word. Trust Him. He can and He will!!!
I hope as always the next time you see me, you find me --- with my hands lifted high, shouting Hallelujah to Jesus, My Lord! Or playing my instrument of praise, and singing "Holy is the Lord!" I'm gonna sing, shout, and dance before my King. I'm gonna lift my hands and praise your Holy Name, Jesus! I'm gonna shout Hallelujah to Jesus Christ, my King of kings!
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