Looking for the Good While Not Compromising My Integrity... 

So, this morning I purposed to get up and choose to look at things and situations as they came up with a more positive focus.  You know, find the lemonade in the lemon type of uh, uh, thing...yea that!  

After receiving a text from my sibling-in-law that my other sibling-in-law who is not speaking to me currently wondered if I had called my parent-in-law, yes, the ridiculousness of it all and this is my life...  Now, this just happened yesterday.  I really did not ponder or worry or fret or any of those things over it.  I just texted back to my one sibling-in-law that - no, I had not.  And, I let my spouse know because it's important for them to know what the family is up to...WAIT!  What are they up to??? That's kind of bizarre, but being that the wind was blowing 90 to nothing and the power looked as if it was going to go out, well, there ya' go...my mind was on other things.  You know, like self-care because if power went out and there was nothing to cook and could I even get it cooked before the power went out as it was sure to do at this point.  Yea, you know, those hits that just keep coming at you rapidly and people wonder why you REACT!  So fast-forward to today, TA DAH!!!

I woke and said, "Self, we's gonna try to do better.  We'll focus on the positive.  We will not let this get us down before we have even gotten up."  After all, it was 5 a.m. and  YEAH, the power is back on!!!  We will count our blessings, yes, we will!  So I quickly washed up the few dishes I had to leave last night and made coffee.  Yummm...Coffee.  I am blessed!  I also let spouse know I was still alive and kicking, and I came to my desk and started sorting through things as I had stacked papers on top the laptop and had to get to the laptop to turn it back on after turning it off last night due to the 'windstorm.'  

As I was going through the stack of articles, recipes, health statistics, etc., cures for my woes, I ran across a review of a product that I had copied and saved for when I needed a laugh.  Look for the positive remember!  My mind started whirling, thoughts churning and  Shazam!  Here is a totally negative experience that somebody took, told the truth of the matter, and yet brought laughter to I do not know how many people by now.  The history lives on if you look it up.  If you are wondering what I am talking about go to Amazon and look up sugar-free gummy bears and read the product reviews.  Here, here is the link to one product but if you take time, you'll find different brands and all those fake sugar reactions.  I laughed and laughed...Guilty...but now you know why we are calling for truth in labeling.  Oh yes, let's look for the positive.  I have my own horror story to tell about an Atkins Chocolate Bar, intense abdominal pain, cramping, and passing out.  Thankfully, I did not have an accident in my pants by passing out, and was able to make it to the restroom.  But after that event, I care very much about food product labeling.  Hmmm, I wonder if what made my spouse have diarrhea on a flight was because he ate a red gummy bear???  Go ahead and have a laugh, we do now but at the time, it was not fun but is it the truth?  Yes! 100 Percent the truth.  No, I'm not going back to sue anyone.  But dang it, I want to know the truth and they just keep finding ways to lie.  

Then, I ran across another story I had saved.  It brought some healing and coping skills that I desperately needed when I ran across it and I find it still relevant today in light of the in-law situation.  It is by Toni Baldwin-Buss and it basically says how everyone loads Mom down with their problems.  It showed Mom responding in a calm manner providing answers and solutions.  It goes through a variety of scenarios and this mother does not lose her calm.  It gets to the end and basically says, Mom has learned how to let others be responsible for their own choices and actions.  If you're an adult, you are an adult.  Act as such.  Mom is not here to rescue you anymore.  The ones who were used to using Mom were speechless at Mom's response.  But after Mom stopped the enabling, the family began to function better.  Why? what happened?  Everyone in the family learned what it is that they need to do.  For those of us that care too much, we wound up being the responsible one for others.  It is time that those others learn to be responsible for themselves.  

Yes, I have found the positive.  I'm not compromising my integrity for your lack of being able to deal with reality.  I am moving on in peace.  I have forgiven.  I am not angry, bitter, or unforgiving.  I am just done.  

Now just so you are aware, I'm not directing this blogpost at any particular person or family member.  I'm just trying to let you know where I am at in my walk.  I choose to live life hereafter in the "Happy Boat."  I am inviting you to get in to the Happy Boat with me.  However, be aware I have standards.  I do not lie, cheat or steal and I do not control or manipulate to get my way.  If you do those things, save us both some time because I'm not going to be that kind of person EVER!!!  Just go on and leave me alone.  This is where I'm at and I'm in the Happy Boat!

Being in the Happy Boat is more of a mind set.  It's the I'm choosing to be happy rather than miserable.  I don't understand why you do what you do, to person causing offense and then blames the other, but I do not have to go with you or be there with you.  Yes, this is exactly where I am and it is a better place.  It is a positive place.  It is a forgiving place.  It is the real place and I can stand before Jesus and say, "Lord, I tried to live as you told me in your Word, the Holy Bible."  I accept the things I do need to change in myself such as 'stop looking for the fight.'  My reaction since I have been challenged on so many fronts of life.  Will I get there?  I hope so.  I also hope I get to bring everyone along with me on this ride, but unfortunately, I cannot make them.  It is up to them.  I am only responsible for me, my choices, and how I respond.  As my nephew, Greg, would have said, " Peace and Chicken Grease!"  There's not much better in this world than love, peace, and some kind of fried chicken...Most importantly, there is Jesus.  

A Fire Burns....

the minions of Hell ply on the thoughts...burn hotter, more, more, more...Jesus says, "Peace be still."  

In the midst of the fire, in the midst of the attack, in the midst _____________(yep, the usual fill in the blank...).  One more stuffing it down.  Not saying anything.  Not doing anything.  And BOOM, the volcano goes off!!!  The extreme point of being able to 'suck it up' and 'forgive' has been met.  No more!  No More!!  NO MORE!!!  The insult - what's wrong with her?  The talks and the lies rather than listening, consoling, showing love and compassion. 

The regrets, the endless questioning of 'why did you let that affect you so?' The acceptance that yes, you are accountable for your part.  But, BUT also acknowledgement that maybe you are being trained to help  so others do not have to go through what you went through.  The last thing I want as a Christian is to hurt someone else the way I have been hurt.  Maybe, although it is a hard thing for me to accept, but just maybe I do have a little more experience and a little more knowledge than you.  Real life experiences of pain, betrayal, broken promises, yea, like everyone else -  I got the T-shirt with holes in it.  

Choices - Forgive.  As a Christian, it's really not a choice.  It's an act of obedience.  Christ says, "if we do not forgive, our Father in Heaven cannot forgive us."  Ummmm, yea, I'll take all the forgiveness I can give.  So that requires me to forgive.  I am receiving some help in understanding why I am not responding in the usual way of forgive and move on.  I am moving on, but as I am moving on I desire better.  Better for myself and better for all I come in contact with....better for strangers I do not know on Facebook or Blogger, or where ever God directs my path.  

So God has, at various times in my life, used movies to bring home a point.  With that said, I found myself watching a great movie the other day.  A movie of someone who took the really bad thing in their life and used it to help others to understand the whys' and hows' of what they deal with in their life daily.  The movie I'm referring to is, "Front of the Class."  I cannot say that my physical ailments come anywhere close to what this young man deals with.  Did I learn something from someone younger than I am?  Yes, I did!  The point is - He set an excellent example of taking something really bad and using it to teach others so they would not punish some person for something that is totally out of their control.  Geez, that sounds like something that we could totally use right now, doesn't it?  Maybe all the cut throat managerial styles can start working on reversing the damage caused by the last, more than a few years of dog eat dog philosophy and start teaching the listen to understand philosophy and that you do not have to destroy others to succeed in your endeavors.  Everybody wins.  Yea!!!   

How do you teach that when you help others, it does not make you weaker?  But let's be clear about real help rather than enabling.  There are times where you do need to stop enabling.  But there again, you are going to help that person rather than hurt if it is true enabling.  Are we all doing the best we can do?  Are we holding something against someone?  Are we really running that race to the best of our ability?  

So I guess I exhibit a certain behavior that comes off as anger to others.  I have been accused of 'unforgiveness' and yada yada yada...I see, after someone listened to me and responded how I might have been trained to respond as 'looking for a fight.'  Let me assure you, the last thing I want to do is fight you.  However, when God is telling me to speak, "I'm gonna speak."  Why?  I fear God more than I fear you.  I also desire to please Him and Jesus requires obedience if you are following Him.   I have also found my peace.  I have found the example of 'teach others' so they can understand better and not hurt someone else.  I hope that the ears that need to hear will hear and eyes that need to see will see.   You never help someone by one upping them or getting something over on them.  Make sure you are not adding to the trauma that has already been done to them.  I have no desire to make someone pay or exact revenge.  That is not my place.  I will leave that to God because God says that revenge is His.  He will take care of it and as in ALL THINGS, I find God is faithful to His Word.  Trust Him.  He can and He will!!!  

I hope as always the next time you see me, you find me --- with my hands lifted high, shouting Hallelujah to Jesus, My Lord!  Or playing my instrument of praise, and singing "Holy is the Lord!"  I'm gonna sing, shout, and dance before my King.  I'm gonna lift my hands and praise your Holy Name, Jesus!  I'm gonna shout Hallelujah to Jesus Christ, my King of kings!    

So Why Do You...???

 And Why Does It Matter...???

The questions echoed in her head.  How can they think it doesn't matter?  She asked herself.  They all had lied to her.  They all had in some form or fashion tried to manipulate her for their advantage.  When does it stop?  She spoke, "It matters!  I don't know about you, but my Bible says 'You will, on judgement day, give an account of every word, deed, and action done.'  No free pass.  Why do they think it is okay to do this to others?  I do not do this to them."   She heard Holy Spirit speak through the din of advice - you just need to forget this.  It will always hold you up; and she felt the usual anger rising over the injustice of the deceit and trickery that had been carried out against her.  His voice pierced through the hurt, anger, and chaos of being a hurt human.  "It's okay.  Give it to me.  You know why...stop and think!  Tell me why."  She thought for a few minutes and then haltingly the words came out, "Because I do not want to be like them."  Instantly, the anger left.  Peace came and order brought to chaos.  

Well, I Did It Again....

 Wait, what was that?  I did not obey the Lord.  He said to me, "Write."  And I replied with, " I don't 'feel' like it, Lord.  With all that is going on in the world, what do I have to say that would mean ____________ anything??? (fill in the blank).  The injustices, the wrongs, the lies, the deceit, the take advantage of another, the backbiting, the backstabbing...on and on it goes...No one listens anyway...what's the point?"  

As I saw a prophecy from people who seem to hear from God all the time and have a lot to say, I was reminded of the last time this happened.  My promise to God to do better next time and to be obedient.  So here goes...even though I don't "feel like it."  Forgive me, Lord, and help me to do better next time.  

Jesus has been speaking to me lately of frequencies and sounds and how God is a frequency.  God is __________...we can all fill in that blank with the words of how we see God.  God is all-powerful.  God is everywhere at all times.  God is never-ending.  God is our healer, our Savior...but lately, I'm reminded of how important frequency is.  I'm not much of a 'science' person.  I'm more of a creative artistic day dreamer type that does not care much about the science of things...I just try it and it comes together is more of the way I go about life.  That might explain a few failures too, but nevertheless, it is me and I accept me for how God created me.  So there...take that....all you brainiacs.  God uses us all. He needs us all.  My spouse deals in the realms of quantum physics.  He understands it.  I look at it and squawk.  Squawking is a frequency.  And my mind goes on rambling patterns in every direction trying to pull out what exactly are you wanting me to say, Lord.  

Frequency, frequency, sound, sound, - what comes to mind.  Two things immediately come to mind - Resonance and energy.  Praise, Worship, Singing, make a joyful noise, play your instrument skillfully.  Sing, dance, clap your hands.  If you do not, the very rocks will cry out.  It is already established that what you feed on will come out of you.  There again, as I have said before, my previous pastor, retired Pastor Wayne Friedt always says, "What you feed grows, what you starve dies."   So again, I am reminded of the importance of this truth.  If you feed on bad, you will start to speak bad (think down, depressing, oppressed, suppressed, etc.) if you feed on positive, you will speak more to the positive (liberty, free, happy, carefree, alive, well, healed, prosperous, etc.)  I find this very true even when I'm just sitting around the house and if I choose to let my mind just veg...yeah, you know..binge watching whatever, it's not long before I find myself in this mind numbing oppression.  However, if I choose to put God in everything and filter, filter, filter, I will, without a doubt, be more upbeat, have more energy, feel better.  

So I want to leave this post for thoughts of encouragement.  God wins!  In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God.  Even in the midst of this battle, we know the outcome.  God Wins!  We read the back of the book, The Holy Bible.  We know that with God all things are possible.  As God spoke to call the chaos in to order, we need to speak to call our chaos in to order.  Whatever you are facing today, Friend, there is nothing that is too difficult for Jesus to handle.  Frequency, resonance, those deeps ends of high and lows, the power, the tremble as the rocks cry out praising the creator of this universe.  His name is all-powerful, Jesus.  Jesus.  Jesus.  Feel that energy rising.  Life giving and sustaining energy.  What is your frequency?  Does it have power and energy with it?  Does it bring life?  Does it make you do and feel better or worse?  Frequencies matter.  Frequencies do have the ability to give life or take life.  And you thought the praise and worship service wasn't that important.  Really?  

Lord Jesus, put me at the altar with the angels singing "Hallelujah to our King!"  How you saved us and redeemed us by your amazing grace.  All mercy from you unto us, let us now bow our knees and declare you are our King. Jesus, We praise your Holy Name!  Let the rocks cry out, let our voices shout.  You spoke the worlds into being, and you let us use your name.  We speak let liberty be, for all you see, as you Jesus died and took our place on Calvary.  We give you all praise, honor and glory, God, and thank you for the gift of your Son, Jesus, and you filled us with your Holy Spirit.  We sing of your amazing grace, your unending mercy, and oh, fill us with the sound of heaven.  

John 1:1

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”

King James Version (KJV)https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/John-1-1/

Get Your Armor On!!!

 I've been hearing "Get your armor on!"  

For several years, I have had 'this is training.'  All the questions, all the doubts and the answer, "This is training."  A calm, steady, walking through it for lack of better words, 'feeling.'  

Lately, I 'feel' urgency but still that peace, not panic - peace, 'get ready.'  "Get your armor on."  We're going to battle.  The battle cry has not sounded but it is going to sound.  "Get Ready!"  There is anticipation, but not fear.  Next, I saw bright shiny armor.  Not battle worn armor like I expected.  God said, "Yes, that's right!  Brand new.  I'm giving you armor that is brand new.  One that as been tested and tried and does not ding or get dents from the enemy's attacks.  I want you to put on this armor, I have made it for you. "

A sudden realization "I do not have to fear."  God has given me an armor that the enemy cannot harm, hurt, damage, pierce...you name it, satan can't do it.  Hallelujah!  Thank you, Jesus!  I've been in training.  You have been in training.  God is saying, "You've been training with the footmen.  Now, I want you to run with the horsemen!  You are going in to battle but it is as it has always been, I am with you.  Put on my armor, you're going to battle!  But, you have already won the war!" 

♪♪♪ I'm excited beyond measure and I'm lifting my head.  Sin and judgement are not my portion, Jesus Christ took my place.  I've won the battle because of who you are Jesus and what you have done for me.  I've got my armor on and I'm running my race.  I'll be who you called me to be and I'll do what you tell me to do.  No longer running or hiding, I'm standing tall and strong for you.  I'm no longer with the footmen, but I'm running with the horsemen.  Come on all my brothers and sisters, you are running too!  Put on your armor, we're going into battle but the war has already been won!  ♪♪♪

Pay heed to what the Lord is saying and to the warnings.  We are in a battle - Choose ye this day whom you will serve....

Jer 12:1  Righteous art thou, O LORD, when I plead with thee: yet let me talk with thee of thy judgments: Wherefore doth the way of the wicked prosper? wherefore are all they happy that deal very treacherously? 

Jer 12:2  Thou hast planted them, yea, they have taken root: they grow, yea, they bring forth fruit: thou art near in their mouth, and far from their reins. 

Jer 12:3  But thou, O LORD, knowest me: thou hast seen me, and tried mine heart toward thee: pull them out like sheep for the slaughter, and prepare them for the day of slaughter. 

Jer 12:4  How long shall the land mourn, and the herbs of every field wither, for the wickedness of them that dwell therein? the beasts are consumed, and the birds; because they said, He shall not see our last end. 

The Lord Answers Jeremiah

Jer 12:5  If thou hast run with the footmen, and they have wearied thee, then how canst thou contend with horses? and if in the land of peace, wherein thou trustedst, they wearied thee, then how wilt thou do in the swelling of Jordan? 

Jer 12:6  For even thy brethren, and the house of thy father, even they have dealt treacherously with thee; yea, they have called a multitude after thee: believe them not, though they speak fair words unto thee. 

Jer 12:7  I have forsaken mine house, I have left mine heritage; I have given the dearly beloved of my soul into the hand of her enemies. 

Jer 12:8  Mine heritage is unto me as a lion in the forest; it crieth out against me: therefore have I hated it. 

Jer 12:9  Mine heritage is unto me as a speckled bird, the birds round about are against her; come ye, assemble all the beasts of the field, come to devour. 

Jer 12:10  Many pastors have destroyed my vineyard, they have trodden my portion under foot, they have made my pleasant portion a desolate wilderness. 

Jer 12:11  They have made it desolate, and being desolate it mourneth unto me; the whole land is made desolate, because no man layeth it to heart. 

Jer 12:12  The spoilers are come upon all high places through the wilderness: for the sword of the LORD shall devour from the one end of the land even to the other end of the land: no flesh shall have peace. 

Jer 12:13  They have sown wheat, but shall reap thorns: they have put themselves to pain, but shall not profit: and they shall be ashamed of your revenues because of the fierce anger of the LORD. 

Jer 12:14  Thus saith the LORD against all mine evil neighbours, that touch the inheritance which I have caused my people Israel to inherit; Behold, I will pluck them out of their land, and pluck out the house of Judah from among them. 

Jer 12:15  And it shall come to pass, after that I have plucked them out I will return, and have compassion on them, and will bring them again, every man to his heritage, and every man to his land. 

Jer 12:16  And it shall come to pass, if they will diligently learn the ways of my people, to swear by my name, The LORD liveth; as they taught my people to swear by Baal; then shall they be built in the midst of my people. 

Jer 12:17  But if they will not obey, I will utterly pluck up and destroy that nation, saith the LORD. 

(KJV)  https://e-sword.net/ 

It Is Three Days Before Christmas...

And all through the house...an anticipation.  Yes, the tension was growing thicker and thicker as past memories fly.  Just what the enemy wants...Mwaahaaha....I will make them remember the trauma and abuse.  I will cause them to fret and worry. 

Jesus says... 

John 14:23  Jesus answered and said to him, If anyone loves Me, he will keep My Word, and My Father shall love him. And We will come to him and will make a dwelling place with him. 

Joh 14:24  The one who does not love Me does not keep My Words. And the Word which you hear is not Mine but of the Father who sent Me. 

Joh 14:25  I have spoken these things to you, abiding with you; 

And I just love...

Joh 14:26  but the Comforter, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He shall teach you all things and shall remind you of all things that I said to you. 

Joh 14:27  I leave peace to you; My peace I give to you. Not as the world gives I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be timid. 

Joh 14:28  You heard that I said to you, I am going away, and I am coming again to you. If you loved Me, you would have rejoiced that I said, I am going to the Father; for My Father is greater than I. 

Joh 14:29  And now I have told you before it occurs, that when it shall occur you may believe. 

Joh 14:30  I shall no longer speak many things with you, for the ruler of this world is coming, and he has nothing in Me. 

Joh 14:31  But that the world may know that I love the Father, even as the Father commanded Me, so I do. Rise up, let us go from here. 

As I printed out my Christmas letter and sent out cards, some cards still unsent and me deciding if I should send them or not.  All the things undone and unfinished and the accuser just flinging those thoughts faster than a train coming down the track and you're late for work.  Yeah, you know what I'm talking about . . I am reminding myself focus on Jesus, the Light of the World.  Jesus is the light of the world.  He's got this...whatever (_________) this is at the moment.  When you are feeling that tension build, the frustrations - take time out.  Just take time out and breathe, pray, laugh, sing, make a joyful noise...just start saying, "Thank you, Jesus for..." Find that friend who, you know that friend, the one who always, ALWAYS make you feel better after you have spent some time with them.  Take time for the important things which I have found are usually completely free - things like spending time with your family even if it's just a chat to catch up on the phone, or writing a letter, watching a bird at a bird feeder or just watching a bird, the blue in the sky, the snow glistening in the sun or if you're at the beach making your northward friends envious catching those waves.  These things will be the things that endure through time.  I can say that to those of you who are younger because as my husband said, "You are officially a member of the old peoples' club now."  

It is very true when your grandmother or grandfather or even your Mom or Dad says, "The best things in life are free."  This is a truth!  Remember it!  Money does not bring happiness and yes, I am one of those that have said, but I would like to find out if that is so.  In retrospect, I can still say I recognize money will not fix everything.  It's another tactic by the enemy to convince you that having this ___________(again fill in the blank) will make you happy.  No, it will not make you happy.  So again, choosing here to focus on good, light, positive, the promises of God, my Father, who has given me 'every blessing.'  Every to me means all.  There was nothing not given or kept from me.  I encourage you to read Ephesians, chapter one - the whole chapter.   But here is the one verse stating I have been given 'every blessing.' 

 Eph 1:3  Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenlies in Christ; 

The gift of our salvation is free.  You can't beat that my friend.  You don't have to do this or that or be destitute.  Jesus truly is our source no matter the situation.  I encourage you to really get out of the mindset that the future looks hopeless because that just is not true.  

For God So Loved the World

Joh 3:16  (KJV) For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that everyone believing into Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. 

Joh 3:17  For God did not send His Son into the world that He might judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. 

Joh 3:18  The one believing into Him is not condemned; but the one not believing has already been condemned, for he has not believed into the name of the only begotten Son of God. 

Joh 3:19  And this is the judgment, that the Light has come into the world, and men loved the darkness more than the Light, for their works were evil. 

Joh 3:20  For everyone practicing wickedness hates the Light, and does not come to the Light, that his works may not be exposed. 

Joh 3:21  But the one doing the truth comes to the Light, that his works may be revealed, that they exist, having been worked in God. 

All scripture is King James Version from:  https://e-sword.net/

 

This time of year always has me reflecting...Hmmmm…..celebrate the traditions of men, or try to please God and what would He have me do…

I hesitate to write a family letter for our family because I have seen so many do this, and they are very good at writing with humor. I have hesitated because I really could not spin a good line on bad things. But this year, I wish to reflect on good. Despite all the losses over the last few years, I (We) have seen the goodness of the Lord. I choose to focus on the light of the world, Jesus Christ. Lord, help me keep the oil of your flame burning in my heart. There truly is nothing else worth chasing after other than you.

With all the above stated, if you are receiving this letter, you are very much treasured, loved and wanted, with fear and trembling ‘needed’ by us. Needed as in, you encourage us to keep going no matter the circumstances.